MERRY CHRISTMAS!

*Written in the early AM and posted in the afternoon*


It is almost 3:30 AM Christmas morning. My family and I just arrived in IL, about 30 min. outside Chicago. Writing this in a word doc. and will post tomorrow....b/c what else is there to do. LOLz
We’re here visiting my mom’s family, most of which still live within ten or fifteen minutes from their childhood home which my grandparents still live in. I have enjoyed visiting here since childhood, with all 18 cousins around during most visits what’s not to like?! My mom’s parents had 8 children, 7 are still living and 6 have children. There are, to date, 18 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren…yeah, lots of people. Enough with the family history

It’s below freezing here at the moment and there is snow everywhere.

News as of late? Yesterday I went to a counseling session that my mom setup for me. “OOOO no?!” was Iron & Wine’s reaction when I told her over coffee the other night. I let her know that it was a legit session and there was no trying on my part to force myself into some ex-gay therapy. It was just a counseling session with a Christian counselor at a local and very large Methodist church in town. I agreed to go because my mom had asked me to. Well I say “ask” it was more like “Hey I set up an appointment with ******** for the twenty third” (two days before Christmas? srlsy?) To be fair I won’t be insured after the end of the month but still…..a counseling session? What ever, so I went.

The appointment was for 8:30AM and arrived just in time to sit in an uncomfortable chair, fill out some paper work then head on in. The older gentleman welcomed me and I introduced myself. I sat down exchanged some pleasantries and then we got to it.

Doc.- Why are you here?
E- Well about a week ago I came out to my parents and told them that I am gay. My mom set this up and I am just here to….I guess talk about things and try and figure out how to better relate to her/ them.

He thanked me for my honesty and noted that often people wait until the last few minutes of their sessions to get to the point. I half expected him to say “Well you sound like your in a good place with being queer and all……have a great day!” But that didn’t happen.

We talked about my life a bit and background, how I came to this realization, attraction and just ran the gambit of the usual questions and answers. I knew that this church where he ran his ministry was not affirming so even before going in I knew he would not agree with my view on being gay, let alone a gay Christian. He asked at one point [paraphrase] ‘what if this is, and I hate to use the cliche, your cross to bear’ and that was the closest he came to even a Side B view of things. The session ended and I left. At the reception desk I said that I would contact them if I wanted to make another appointment. I do not plan on going back.

My mom asked if I planned on going back and I told her that I didn’t, because he had nothing new to offer and it would just be the same back and forth. SETTING: This was during opening presents early with my younger brother who had to stay home because of work. She responded....wide eyed and serious “That must have been some documentary you watched”
I was just like I don’t think this is the time and calmly changed the subject. The look on my dad’s face was that of “SRLSY honey…?”
So that’s that……. I hope.

More updates to come, my youngest brother is in the same bed with me and being a helicopter….
-E
P.S. Posting this then going to have a snowball fight-sledding time with some of my cousins!!!! yeah snow!
P.P.S The pictures are from flicker btw...just to get an idea of things.