HoLY FRENcH TOaST BATMAN! *Part 1*

We have a situation on our hands

     This post will in a few different directions as I try to
direct them towards my main point. WTFT is goin' on people?

I just finished reading a blog by a guy named Jay. We share
some common ground. He is a Christian male in his twenties who
is dealing with being attracted to men. However what I might
call gay and try to find peace with, he labels Same Sex
Attraction and deals with it as a sort of "thorn in the flesh."
In some posts he talks as if he is gay while in the
same breath holding fast in his belief that he can never know
the kind of total love that heterosexual couples share. I just
don't get this kid.

(Begin rant)
When I saw a post about a boyfriend Jay had, I
thought he might be coming to a different conclusion about
things. I read how there was no physical intimacy between them.
(outside of hand holding and the like) I respect him, and think
it's an admirable choice for any couple. But when he sited the
reasoning for a non romantic relationship,I was baffled.

"It (the Bible) does not respond to our every whim and want. As such, I still view sex between anyone outside of a man and woman united in marriage to be outside of God's Will and, therefore, sinful."

Thaaaaaaaaat is when my tiny brain exploded. Yes sex is only for two people who have dedicated themselves to God and each other through marriage; but he still holds that same sex couples are outside Gods plan. Jay knows he is attracted to men. Jay has emotional feelings that:
"Just holding his (BF's) hand is enough to make my heart flutter..."

He also does not like the ladies

"I still don't have any romantic or physical feelings for the opposite sex."

So He is not attracted to women, He likes boys, He had a boyfriend, I'm not one for labels but

"HE------IS-------GAY!"

I just do not understand how someone can have such heartfelt desires that go so far beyond some sexual need and in the same breath call them sinful.
Some who read this might agree with Jay saying, "E just needs to realize that God does not allow our every whim or want to be granted. The purpose of Christianity is to serve and show others the Love of Christ"

To that I would say yes, we are to serve others and fulfill the great commission. However God created me in his image and does not want for me to be alone. -Everyone looks for that special someone with whom they can share every single aspect of their life. A husband or wife that they can sit with for hours on end and not have to say a word. A person that they can love and will love them for eternity.- I want that person to be a man. If that is somehow wrong and not OK with my creator then what i have been taught is- to quote Iron & Wine "...FALSE".
I simply cannot choose between God and being true to who I am.

At this point in my life and walk as a Christian 99% of the feedback I am getting says that gays and Christians are two mutually exclusive traits. If they can't coexist then I choose my heart, embracing my homosexuality. (I don't rule out some divine appointment where by God could show me I am wrong AND give me an inner peace. Though I do not expect that any time soon, it could happen.) If being a gay Christian is possible, I will gladly people like the Journeyman and be a minority within a minority.

One thing I do know is that I refuse to live like Jay. IMO he is in some kind of personal hell of his own creation. To acknowledge feelings that are woven so tightly to who he is and at the same time believing that they are wrong is nobel. But more than noble.... his choice is retarded!
(End rant)

This did not start out as a two parter but there is more I want to say and I have been writing this same post since like 2:30am! Yeah.
~`E
P.S. I call it "LOL Gays"